I think it’s easiest house my 100 Days of Love Poems series in one spot so it doesn’t clog up the main page too much. The formatting of this page will likely change overtime as I write more poems. These poems are about romantic love, familial love, the absence of love, and everything in between. I was inspired to start this series while reading Love Poems by Nikki Giovanni. Special thank you to my best friend for joining me on this journey.
15/100 Days of Love
Untitled
I lie to every man I meet.
I tell them I’m over you,
that I don’t think about you,
that I don’t miss you,
and that I love them more than you.
14/100 Days of Love
Some things I like about you
Your candor
Your gap
Your smize
Your voice
Your humor
Your care
Your patience
Your kindness
Your ability to love me
13/100 Days of Love
Untitled
I miss the younger me
the younger you
the younger us
back when just the thought of you was enough for me
back when the idea of us having a future brought me joy
before the self-awareness
before the harsh love lessons that come with age
back when only the mere mention of your name gave me butterflies
back when our biggest worry was curfews
before it was time for me to wise up
and see that you had no plan for me
before the eyes of adulthood forced me to see what you truly are
back when you would sneak into my window
back when we would fog up car windows
before you decided to give up on yourself
before I decided to love me
back when a conversation would make my entire week
back when we would stay up late talking music
before I learned that I was enough for better men
before I experienced what a man actually does for a woman he loves
back when you were mythical to me
back when I would compromise my morals and ignore my boundaries to make you happy
before the idea of us having a future seemed unimaginable and agonizing
before I had to let you go
12/100 Days of Love
For the Man who wasn’t Man Enough for Me
With you
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been
But with you
I can’t fantasize a fulfilling life
With you
time doesn’t exist
and we share many laughs
But with you
I will have to traverse all of life’s hardships
alone
With you
I feel free, young, and in control
But with you
I will have to make all the decisions
because you're too afraid to act
With you,
I could spend my entire life
But with you
That would be no life at all
11/100 Days of Love
Untitled
How does one come to terms with the fact
that they loved someone
who never loved them?
Does one ever?
There’s only one solution to this problem.
And that is
no solution at all.
10/100 Days of Love
Untitled
When I hear an electric guitar I think of you
I think of your skin
pressed against mine
I think of my hands
gliding up your back
As smooth as the riff of the guitar
I think of you
breathing in my ear
As deep as a bass
I think of our hands interlocked
and me being in control
Making us in tempo with the music
Because I am the star of this show
and you bought a ticket
so enjoy
9/100 Days of Love
Circles
you only want me
when i don't want you
which means
you never want me
because
i always want you
8/100 Days of Love
Something Sweet
I eat a piece of chocolate at night when you’re not there because I still need something sweet to go to bed
7/100 Days of Love
Untitled
Your mommy told me you were coming and I was happy as if you were already here
Your mommy told me you were coming and I instantly claimed you as mine
You have your mommy and your daddy and your gg and your glammy and you have me too
You have a future that’s brighter than the eclipse that came the year you were born
You’ll never want for anything and you’ll have everything you’ll ever need
Your mommy and I didn’t have much
but we had each other and now
we have you
Your mommy didn’t have a mommy who knew how to be a mommy
Your mommy didn’t have a mommy who made sure that she had a good daddy
Your mommy didn’t have many aunties to teach her important lessons
But your mommy made sure you have all these things and some out of love
You already have the best mommy in the world and because of her
You will be the greatest to ever walk this Earth because you will walk with love
knowing that you are the best we have to offer
6/100 Days of Love
This poem is hilarious to me because I have always hated Cater 2 U. I never understood why those women would do all of those things for a MAN who likely would NOT do the same for them. It just always gave pick me to me. While thinking about what song to put at the end of this post, I considered “Soon As I Get Home” by Babyface, but it just didn’t seem fitting. I thought of the ridiculous “Cater 2 U” by Destiny’s Child. Though this is a poem based on my actual feelings, I would never ACTUALLY do these things for a man who would do nothing for me. I wish I could ignore the fact that the man I love more than anything else on this Earth is not worthy of my love and would do nothing for me. But I cannot, so all of this is just fantasy. SO . . . all of that to say, I would never actually behave this way for a man who does not love me.
Untitled
For me, you’d likely do nothing But for you, I’d do everything I would set your alarm for the morning I would make sure a glass of water remained in arm’s reach for you because I know you like to have your water first thing in the morning I would make you a healthy breakfast I would lay your clothes out for you and pack your lunch I would walk you to your car and place a kiss on your forehead because I know you like to start and end your day with me kissing your forehead I would have the house the way you like it after you get off of work I would have your game on with your friends waiting in the lobby I would have you a milkshake to enjoy while you decompress I would have the speakers on the volume you like so you can enjoy your music I would have your dinner ready for you I would run the shower water for you and make sure your towel is warm because I know you don’t like cold towels I would oil that dry spot on your back that you can never reach I would get into the bed before you to make sure the sheets are warm Then, I would hold you until we woke up in the morning and do it all over again, knowing that for me, you’d likely do nothing
5/100 Days of Love
Four days late . . . Sorry. The rest of the poems will be uploaded today so that I am up to date.
Untitled
I look white men in their eyes in the board room
I stand up to my mother if I feel disrespected
I tell men off when they approach me in the dark
But with you I can barely catch my breath to speak, afraid I’ll say the wrong things
I put out the fires in my home
I kill the bugs
I take the train alone at night
Yet with you, I cant even even move my body an inch, afraid the moment will end
I hang my own paintings
I mow my own lawn
I pay my own bills
And still with you my independence is useless, afraid it’ll drive you away
4/100 Days of Love
Today’s poem is also loosely related to the sailor. We have a long musical history together, which kind of reminds me of Brown Sugar. Now, he is more of a Love Jones guy, but he’s wrong about a lot of things and has some poor judgments, obviously. One day, possibly soon, since it’s been requested, I’ll explain more about my relationship with the sailor. Like the fact that he wasn’t always a sailor to me, and was just my childhood best friend with the same taste in music as me. Or, that kid that was also too weird for the professors to deal with. Or that kid that I fell in love with when I was 11, somehow. Maybe because I’ve always been really in tune with myself and my emotions, I knew very early on my feelings for him were something like I’d never experienced before, and still haven’t. As I’ve mentioned before, we have this touch-and-go relationship (all because of him, really), but nothing ever really changes in the gap time. Each time we see each other, it’s like no time has passed between us. That is both beautiful and haunting. With him, I sing more than I do with anyone else. We sing together for all occasions, to express ourselves. But with him, I sing like I’ve never sung before.
I only sing with you
I don’t mind singing aloud in public spaces because I know you love when I sing, and to us, singing is normal
I don’t mind singing aloud at the grocery store because you let me sing whenever my heart desires
I don’t mind singing aloud while walking on the street because you never laugh at my singing
I don’t mind singing aloud when I’m on the train and people are staring because with you I sing all the time
while we’re arguing – I sing
while we’re driving – I sing
while we’re walking – I sing
while we’re the closest two people could possibly be – I sing
I don’t mind singing aloud when I’m in public spaces because we sing together
3/100 Days of Love
Luffy
There was a strawberry inside of me
gifted to me by the man I love
There was a strawberry inside of me
that I thought was grown out of love
There was a strawberry inside of me
that I had to throw up because it’s lack of love was poisonous
There was a strawberry inside of me
that I had to expel and send to the sun
There was never a strawberry inside of me
but instead a devil fruit
There was a devil fruit inside of me
because it came from you
There was a devil fruit inside of me
that came from letting the devil feed me
I was always told that the devil could be quite cunning
2/100 Days of Love
Today’s poem was loosely inspired by the sailor, whom I’ve run into somewhat recently. He asked me what I would do if he came to my wedding and didn’t hold his peace as I was marrying my dream man. In that moment, I could only picture him as my dream man, which I know is NOT true, but I wish he were. So this poem is about how my “dream man” would love me. Many of these things are ways that the sailor would never, could never, and will never love me; but are all ways that I could have loved him if he were able to grow up.
Untitled
My man wouldn’t offer me the world because he knows I don’t want it and believe that it’s nobody’s to own
But my man would offer me everything on it that could possibly make me happy
My man would offer me every book in the bookstore, but not buy them because he knows I have too many unread ones and hate consumerism
But my man would keep a running list and get me one at a time so that I can still have them and not feel guilty
My Man wouldn’t let me buy concert tickets that would get me as close to the music as possible, although he knows that’s my preference
But my man would always have the tickets ready when an artist I’m interested in is performing
My man wouldn’t ask me to cook for him because he’s hungry
But my man would ask me to cook for him because he knows that I love feeling useful to him
My man would stand tall and strong everywhere he went, with his head held high
But my man would lower it in my arms after a long day and allow me to hold him for strength
My man wouldn’t be scared to tell me no and wouldn’t let me control him
But my man would allow me to live life as my heart desires and do whatever it takes to allow me to do so
My man wouldn’t baby me and would admire my strength
But my man would sit me in his lap and cross his arms up my back to make me feel protected
My man wouldn’t need to ask me how I feel because he’ll already know
But my man would ask anyway because he understands that feeling understood it’s important to me
My man wouldn’t ask me if I needed a hug because he knows I do not like feeling like I need anyone or anything
But my man would understand that I need him anyway, without me ever having to say it and would need me the same way
My man wouldn’t go to the end of the earth for me because he knows I don’t want him too far from me
But my man would take me with him
100 Days of Love
To become a more credible writer on black love and other topics I think intersect with it (and because I have a problem), I recently picked up some new books, one of them being Love Poems by Nikki Giovanni. Although I have yet to finish the book of poems, the ones I’ve read so far remind me that poetry doesn’t always have to be serious. Some of her poems are silly, in the same way one feels when they are in love, or at least should feel. Her poem, “Love Is,” inspired me to start this challenge of 100 love poems in 100 days. The book is close to 100 pages, so I that’s why decided 100 days. To the best of my ability, I will post them daily to share them and hold myself accountable. My friend has offered to join me on this journey. Some of these poems will be about former lovers, some will be about future lovers, some will be about lovers I have never had and likely will never have. Recently, I have been comparing men to roller coasters. My favorite roller coaster is not my favorite because of how it looks, but because of how it makes me feel. I hope to display feelings I have had and the feelings I want to feel from a truly unconditional love.
Day 1/100
Untitled
I gave you 10% of me and you gave me 50% of you.
I gave you 10% of me because I wanted 100% of you.
You gave me 50% of you which only felt like 5% to me.
I hoped my extra 5% would inspire you to give me more
I couldn't tell that you were giving me 50% everyone else 40% |including her| and only 10% to yourself.
I couldn’t tell that your 50% to me felt like so much more to you
You couldn’t tell that my remaining 90% was stored inside for you
We never really did understand numbers
I never understood how to properly ratio things making everything 1
You never understood the wholeness of 1
Can numbers be subjective?
bell hooks is disappointed 