My best friend suggested that I pick up The Love Songs of W.E.B. Du Bois almost a year ago. I bought it from one of my local bookstores and read it over time. You know, the same way you eat a family-sized bag of chips. You have a few here; close the bag. You come back in a few days/weeks, have a few more, and eventually, the chips are gone. Well, that’s how I read this book. Because I’m somewhat of a book snob, I purchased the hardcover, which is a whopping 797 pages. When I looked at my best friend in disbelief and reminded her that I am in school and the book was too thick, she simply said in her soft, light voice, “Not a word wasted.” Though the book was very good, I would have to disagree with her. But I am very glad she recommended it to me.

For the original transgression of this land was not slavery. It was greed, and it could not be contained.

~The land, Page 4 (Hardcover)

When I first started the book, I was really intrigued. I am a fan of multigenerational storytelling and liked how far back Jeffers went into Ailey’s (the main character) lineage. I also love that the narrators of the book are the land, which at times feels like her ancestors. There were parts in her ancestor’s story at the beginning that really sat with me, and parts that disturbed me. A part that I found interesting is when Jeffers talks about how when the white men came to this land (Abya Yala), they brought their sexual traditions with them and imposed them on their indigenous lovers and others. They said the man is supposed to be on top of a woman, instead of the traditional way, where a woman is on top of a man. Upon further investigation, I read a few articles that conclude the term “missionary” originates from colonization, which seems to be contested.

The book mostly jumps between Ailey’s time and the time of whichever of her ancestors we are following in that section. From her lineage, I especially love her parents’ story. I thought their story of how they got together was adorable, and even though it wasn’t perfect, it was nevertheless beautiful. That said… I was VERY upset when Ailey’s father cheated on her mother. He abandoned her and their newborn for weeks because he wanted someone who could do “more” for the black movement and keep him mentally stimulated… Nothing contributes more to the advancement of black people than raising a black child properly. He left his wife for a woman he thought was better suited for him because she would listen and not question his ideas. When Belle confronts the woman, the woman says to her, “Geoff’s a pretty serious man, and he has many great ideas. He just needs somebody to listen to.” Girl fuck both of y’all, (what the reader thought).

This is something we hear time after time again: if you don’t feed a man’s ego, you cannot get upset when he leaves you for someone who does. However, something that’s never mentioned in the book is whether Ailey’s mother’s intellectual needs are being met. We know that her professional needs aren’t fulfilled because she became a mother, but we don’t know much about what stimulates her mentally. While her husband is out with his mistress, a man, Zulu takes a liking to Ailey’s mother. Although she takes a liking to him and he is the man she needs at the time, she does not cheat on her husband. But should she have? Should she have just left him? Why did she stay? These are also questions I have been asking myself about generations of black women. But I will save my opinions on that for another blog post.

Without the Negro woman… without her struggles, who would my brother be? Unaided, unsupported, brutish — a heathen! … The Negro woman is the best our race has to offer. Cherish her. Love her. Never leave her behind.

~A quote from Uncle Root, Page 741

My favorite character throughout the book was Ailey’s great-uncle Root. He’s a progressive older man who makes it his mission to educate the next generation of Black scholars and motivate them to be the best they can be, with pride in their race. Uncle Root does not call himself a feminist because he doesn’t believe a woman should be forced to go into the draft or go toe to toe, physically, with a man. So, although he generally supports the equality and liberation of Black women, that is the one area where he believes inequality should stay. I love the way he allows Ailey to be an adult and supports her through whatever stage of her life she is in. He welcomes everyone as if they’re family and gives everybody an initial vibe check based on whether they can hold a somewhat intelligent conversation with him. One thing I love about Uncle Root, which we don’t see much of today, is that he doesn’t judge anyone or their choices as they try to figure out life. Something we rarely see, at least in the media and on social media, is Black men fully loving and supporting Black women. Uncle Root has the utmost respect and love for Black women. He brags about loving his wife so much that he took her last name.

One thing I did not like, but can understand, is that we do not see Ailey find a healthy, secure love or friendship. She does not have any close friends, and spends a lot of the book alone. Instead of us seeing her with love in her life, we see her in these toxic relationships with every man she meets. By the time she’s in her 30s, we see her possibly getting back with her teenage boyfriend, but that happens years after she’s been involved with men who want to use her or men she wants to use. It is clear that Ailey does not need a man, and the book is about her journey to find purpose in her life, which is also a self-love journey. However, since she mostly appears in toxic relationships, I would have loved to see her in a healthy, successful relationship. We almost get there, but she stops talking to the guy because his father reminds her of her grandfather. The relationship that made me the most upset was the one between her and Scooter. I hated Scooter and his wife.

Scooter is a Black man who married a racist, unaware white woman. His wife is jealous of Ailey and cannot conceptualize that a Black woman could be more intelligent than her and take her husband’s attention away from her. Now, we do not know if Scooter has a history of cheating on his white wife with Black women, but we do know that he and his wife both started paying attention to Ailey around the same time. It gets so crazy that Scooter continuously asks Ailey to have dinner with him and his wife while they are having an affair. He asks her to do this to pacify his wife because she often makes it a habit to invite Black people to her house and wants to make sure her husband has Black friends… Well girl, he made a friend alright. TO ME, what this relationship signifies is how black women are always there for black men when they need uplifting, yet they still seek love elsewhere. His wife’s family is racist and does not accept him, and the program he is in at school does not either. But he notices the one black woman in his proximity and chases her until she decides she won’t continue nurturing a man who is not doing the same for her. Once she makes this clear, he reveals his true colors about why he does not date black women, yet black women are good enough for him when he needs emotional support and sex. Sadly, we are seeing more Scooters as we begin to look for black male partners in higher education. The type of men that do not want to date black women, but want to be around black women to help them feel grounded. I feel this is because men know that Black women will always be supportive and try to uplift the community when needed, but they also know that most of us are not going to deal with their disrespect and diminish ourselves to feed their egos.

For example, my ex-boyfriend (the evil Leo or KKK member, as I like to call him) cheated on me with a 30-year-old white woman therapist (he’s in his early 20s, and I mean younger than 24). He said he was drawn to her because she didn’t take herself too seriously, was an easy lay, and she waited on all his wants and needs. He also said she listened to all his deepest thoughts, even though she lacked the intelligence to challenge them. Additionally, he mentioned she smelled bad, yet still proceeded to cheat on me with her because she paid for everything and expected nothing from him except what he wanted: sex when he wanted it and company when he wanted it. To keep his attention, she would lure him with his vices like weed, nicotine, and excessive alcohol, etc., to ensure she could keep him around. When he needed to be grounded again in his identity and blackness, he returned home. Similar to how Scooter’s wife tried to villainize Ailey, my ex’s white mistress tried to villainize me, in disbelief that he would come back to me after being with her. This isn’t one of those “he knows where home is” stories, but it’s a similar story to Scooter and Ailey’s. Just as Scooter’s wife made it seem like Ailey was hostile and nasty, my ex’s white mistress told him I was not good for him and displayed many red flags. Mind you, he’s cheating on me with you. Like Scooter and the KKK member, we see how black men sometimes use black women while they try to uplift themselves, and we try to find love for ourselves. How do we protect ourselves from men like this while looking for the black love we see in our favorite movies?

Overall, I enjoyed the book. For being Jeffers’ first novel, she did an incredible job. There are so many things I took away from it, and so many quotes that will stay with me forever. Some you might even see in future blog posts. I think this would make a great film. I could see it being somewhat of a comfort film for me when I need to feel grounded. I sometimes wake up in the morning with Ailey on my mind and her relationships with the characters. I even think about how her story would be different if we were friends. The book has 100% helped me take my mind off my breakup from a man who committed an ancestral crime by cheating on me with a white woman. But there’s no need to harp on that because the ancestors will deal with him accordingly. To my best friend who recommended the book: girl, words were wasted, but I am still glad I read them.